merry and pip get high
by Peaceful Peinguin online
Summary: Not very orignal. Just, merry, pippin, gandalf and a penguin.merry's POV


Dia duit my little shirelings! Come back for more have you?

Ok, starting this with no idea where it's going…. Just Merry and Pippin maybe with a bit of Gandalf.

Oh, and a penguin. And maybe Arwen, just 'cause I like Arwen. Set post ROTK, but best to take it as AU as I've stretched the timeline a bit. Not the most original idea, but just go with it-

**The day we got high on pipe-weed**

Meriadoc Brandybuck

In the year 3020 of the third age, by the reckoning of men, I received a gift from one Gandalf Greyhim, the great wizard. I still remember this day, as clear as if it only occurred last Wednesday. In fact, it did only occur last Wendsday. It was as I was sitting down to eat my second breakfast of carrots, tomatoes, and some nice juicy bacon, when I heard a frantic knock at the door. Wondering who could be calling at the hour of eleven in the morning, I rose from my chair, tossing my napkin onto my plate. As I opened the door, I saw not the face of another hobbit, as I had expected, but rather the flowing robes of Gandalf the grey. Before I even had the chance to raise my eyes to meet his gaze, Gandalf shoved past me and into my cosy home. And on that morning it looked particularly cosy, as I had lit a roaring fire in the hearth.

Gandalf peered around; with a fear in his eye I had never before seen on such a wise wizard. "Is anything wrong Gandalf?" I asked, concerned. Gandalf started, as if he had not known of my presence until that moment. "M-Merry, my dear brave hobbit, I have a gift for you! Y-yes, a, a fine gift indeed…" Withdrawing one hand into his robes, Gandalf pulled out a small leather pouch. Small by the thought of men, but alas to a hobbit of my size quite large. Taking the pouch in both my hands, I opened it to find-"Pipe weed! -I exclaimed- "Gandalf, never have I seen finer pipe-weed! Yet- I allowed some of the substance to run through my fingers - Never have I seen pipe-weed such as this! Tell me, in what corner of the Shire did you find this Gandalf?" At this, Gandalf stiffened. He shuffled awkwardly before replying -"Never you mind, Meriadoc Brandybuck. Just take it all and enjoy. But tell no-one, be he hobbit or man, about it." My heart sank. I had wished to share this fine batch with Pippin, my greatest friend an ally. We had known one another since childhood, and deep bond of love and brotherhood existed between us. I had to challenge Gandalf. "Can I not share it with Pip? I'd feel a glutton to smoke it all by myself." It wouldn't be right to smoke alone. The smoking of pipes among hobbits was a social act to be done in good company. Gandalf seemed to think about it for a few moments, before saying- "Very well. You are to tell Pippin, but no one else. And now I must take my leave from you, Meriadoc Brandybuck. Good day." And with that, he rushed out the door and back down the road. Elated at my stroke of luck, I ran in the opposite direction in search of Pippin, the precious pouch hidden from prying eyes by my waistcoat and jacket. I found him in the first place I searched, in the Green Dragon, downing a half-pint in one go. I sprinted to him, and hurriedly whispered- we are the two luckiest hobbits in all the Shire, Pip! Look what I have!" It is impossible to describe the look on pips' face-That of pure elation- so I will not attempt it. He was very happy about the situation, anyway. We swiftly vacated the pub, and ran to the smoky hill, a revered smoking spot, as the name implies. Flopping onto the flattened grass, we whipped out our pipes in unison. "Come on, come on!" Pippin urged, as I fumbled with my jacket. I took out the prized cargo carefully, and opened it slowly, savouring its scent. We each took a pinch from the bag, stuffed it into our pipes and lit them. "Ready?" I asked Pippin. He nodded. We each took a long and hard drag of the pipes, taking in the flavours of this odd weed. Then something odd began to happen. The world began to sway and twist into distorted colours. "Merry"- I heard Pip say groggily-"I feel all funny, whoa man, I can see- Merry, I can see something! Its coming right at us!" As if by magic, I saw it too. A creature I recognised from a description given by Aragorn of Gondor to me.

It was a penguin.

Our story pretty much goes to pot here. Literally.

Wasn't quite sure what to do at the end there-They were going to see Arwen, but that was a little perverted… Anyway, I will update soon,

Slan,

Lil.


End file.
